Don’t Make Assumptions…Ask Questions….Get Clarification…

Inspired by “The Four Agreements”

We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. I hear this in business all the time – “we lost because our fee was too high, too low, politics, they didn’t like us” … yada yada yada. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking – we take it personally – then we blame them and react – almost always negatively. That is why when we make assumptions, we are asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.

Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong.

We only see what we want to see, and hear what we want to hear. We don’t perceive things the way they are. Our minds want answers. Our mind will not rest until we put the puzzle together and have an answer – even if the answer is false.

If others tell us something, we make assumptions, and if they don’t tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate.

The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. It is always better to ask questions than make an assumption. If you don’t understand, ask. Have the courage to ask questions until you are clear as you can be, and even then do not assume you know all there is to know about a given situation.

With clear communication, all of your relationships will change.